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Recently on “hold off, Is This a Date?” we’re joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. You heard that right! This event is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — setting up with pals’ exes, pals starting up with your exes, as well as the culture created by what drama.

Come for any news, stay when it comes to emotional control. And before that enjoy a game title that exams Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t.)

Thanks for all the wonderful feedback after the premier! When you yourself haven’t however consider giving us a rating or evaluate!

SHOW RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood information
that is the intersection of most my personal passions.

+ Listed Here Is
the essay
We reference in which We mention setting up with my roommates.

+ My personal crush associated with the few days Mj Rodriguez introduced a music movie on her behalf track
“one thing to state”
!

+ As someone who has just seen some periods of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of this week C.C. Babcock was actually stunning for me when it proved she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina informs me they basically however are.)

Drew:

I would personally end up being very good with-it current. I would never include someone else without their own authorization. Nevertheless idea of every time some body was like, “make sure you are linked to me personally,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, it’s the existence i have resided. I don’t mind.” Would be that strange? Is the fact that a challenge?

Christina:

No, since if I found myselfn’t, I would feel terrible not. I would personally be like, “hold off, I am not lying?”

Theme tune performs

Drew:

Hi, I Am Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.

Drew:

And this is

Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?

Christina:


Hold Off, Is It A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the top questions. To begin with, is-it a date? Exactly what are times? That happen to be dates? Can we like times? These represent the kind of questions that we answer with this here very expert and lovely podcast.

Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m also a writer at Autostraddle. I am a loud queer on the internet. I’m recovering at describing myself as an author and, famously, a lesbian. That is you. That is just who the audience is.

Drew:

Yeah. So all of our major subject this week will be the Chart.

Christina:

I recently believed it required a sting. I am not sure. That thought actually dramatic, but i do believe it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Thanks a lot, thank you so much. No, no, no. The appropriate level of drama.

Christina:

Many thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re writing about lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I like that expression because it feels like you will need to restart the lesbians. It may sound like web connection isn’t really working.

Drew:

Yes. it is rather higher level, very advanced, but also ‘s been around since there’s been lesbians, I think.

Christina:

Yeah. I think scholars would state when they discovered the first lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of those created to the sand. And I also genuinely believe that’s exactly what that film is all about, correct? It is more about the chart? That flick with Kate Winslet and also the mud fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that’s what it’s about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cave ladies. I would watch that lesbian motion picture.

Christina:

Well, when I haven’t seen it, i’ll fearlessly claim that it actually was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we’ve a lot of lesbian period pieces, but we have now never gone straight back that much. And I think it’s the perfect time we do.

Christina:

Let us merely hold having it furthermore back in its history.

Drew:

Before we become to the major subject, you’re nonetheless observing you. And that I believed that it could be fun to relax and play a casino game the place you dudes could actually become familiar with Christina. So the icebreaker for this few days is some video game that I name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, again, so stressed about this. This might you need to be ways I come into the online game. This could be my personal game mentality, a tiny bit high key, somewhat stressed. That’s fine. All of us are understanding.

Drew:

I think that is fantastic. I believe that will move you to more vulnerable, perhaps.

Christina:

Certainly one of my favorite thoughts.

Drew:

Merely a horror, merely an intense horror. So the manner in which “Would U-Haul” works is i will describe a scenario. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina fan fiction. And that I’m probably pause after each small section is similar, “Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never ever lived with a partner, do not want to live with somebody. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will both say yes or we’ll say, “I’m all set.”

Drew:

If you do not — well, we’ll see right here. But i am thrilled. I believe I’ve possibly cracked the signal.

Christina:

You’ve damaged the rule? I’m excited.

Drew:

Let’s see how very long this requires. And in case you won’t ever perform, In my opinion you victory? I’m not sure how you’ll find winners here.

Christina:

I am not sure there exists winners when you look at the game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I am not sure should you decide’ll trust that next. So I’m getting heading.

Christina:

Fair enough.

Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at the friend’s wedding ceremony. Regardless of the multitude of romcoms you’ve taken in, you did not head to this wedding ceremony considering you’d fulfill any person because, well, this is not a romcom. This is actually the actual and typical life of Christina Grace Tucker. You adopt your designated seat and are generally glancing at your phone once you recognize a female at the table is looking at you. She presents by herself since your buddy’s former babysitter. She’s remained a pal with the family members, but she does not really know any person there. She appears like mid-forties and has now a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She offers to allow you to get a glass or two. As soon as she rises, you realize she actually is six feet tall, 6′ 3″ in heels. You know what? I’m only attending hold on there and become love, at this point, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m intrigued. I’m intrigued because I might get set at this wedding ceremony. But up to now I am not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. That is completely reasonable. Completely reasonable. Okay. You spend the entire marriage getting to know one another. There’s simply an immediate spark and instant chemistry. And yes, you are doing hook-up and the gender is incredible.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

So this wedding was in Northern California. And so you both expand your stays for three times to bang and check out and eat at restaurants and bang. And you also provide to divide the cost of the now combined room, but she laughs you off and is like, “certainly perhaps not, honey.” Therefore the after that three days are miracle. You feel your own wall space tumbling down. You are dropping quicker than you actually have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Therefore simply for understanding’s benefit, I’m having trouble picturing a global where I got three shock times off of strive to spend time with an individual i really do not know. That seems bonkers. However if i did so, good-for myself. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this time. It will be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. Which is great. You merely found. I get it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you so much plenty.

Drew:

So she comes back to nyc while come back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where I reside.

Drew:

And you’re texting always. That is where you reside and is where this lady lives. And you’re texting everyday while see one another several times per month. She actually is really busy together work, but she’s quick purchase you a train admission in order to arrive see this lady and stay at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. Right after which 6 months pass. And one night when you are out to meal, she asks you to relocate together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And go on to Nyc? I do not really love New York. No, I am not moving in within half a year level. I am not carrying out that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Entirely, totally, entirely. Wow. Okay. So that you hold internet dating cross country. She understands that you want some time and the woman is prepared to wait a little for you. Even more several months move. It’s now already been over a-year. Your landlord informs you they are offering your place to a developer who’s setting up condos, you cannot renew it. You will need to get a hold of a new location. Your own now sweetheart tells you that no stress, but the woman offer however appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this time, I would U-Haul for two reasons.

Drew:

Yay! Ok. Kindly tell us.

Christina:

Largely, in a global whereby my property owner offered my house to produce it, my property manager happens to be my companion, to make certain that appears like some thing moved incorrect within our friendship. And that I may want to simply leave Philadelphia anyhow. And when I have to maneuver in with my girl over right here, that seems okay. Which is great. Totally fine. But yeah, I think i may need an external force like a mean property manager.

Drew:

Which is thus — okay. I did so think that you’ll need certainly to need construction receive truth be told there, so I’m happy We knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. That’s just what actually must affect myself 1st.

Drew:

Really, i am pleased to know what it’s going to take. So theoretically, if you weren’t knocked away, simply how much more hours?

Christina:

Frankly, that may have gone on for some time. Philly and ny commonly also that not even close to each other. I managed to get room over right here. We’re bouncing backwards and forwards. We are having fun. I could have allow that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst person I’m sure.

Drew:

I did not understand that Shoshana had your own house. Really, there you choose to go.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, that has been thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I am stressed, to be clear.

Drew:

And I also’m grateful that I know… possibly if you’re ever before, so if anyone’s ever internet dating both you and wants you to definitely move around in, possibly your own gf told Shoshana to market your house with regard to the union.

Christina:

Truthfully the quickest method — somebody would only have to speak to Shoshana and stay want, “only kick this lady .” Right after which she’d end up like, “Yeah, positive. Naturally.” That could be how it happened, regardless of if she didn’t promote the house. Someone would just be like, “Can you just stop their out so she will simply conquer it and move in with me?” And she would say yes. A hundred percent she would do that. That’s what relationship is.

Drew:

I really like that.

Christina:

Yeah, which is really breathtaking.

Drew:

Well, I believe like we learned much about you.

Christina:

Many Thanks. Personally I think like We discovered many about me, too. Threat of homelessness is actually the point that helps to keep myself moving in any scenario, i assume. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is great.

Christina:

Which was really fascinating. I’m equally happy to go into all of our main sector because i believe speaking about lesbian connection with this particular guest, because of this special guest, i believe it will likely be incredible, Drew. Exactly how could you be feeling?

Drew:

I’m so excited. This might be specialized. By that, after all an

L Keyword

expert, additionally some an expert inside topic at hand.

Christina:

In my opinion a couple of things can be true, my good friend. I do believe a few things are real certainly. Do we want to introduce our guest or can we desire our very own visitor introducing by themselves?

Drew:

I would personally love all of our guest introducing herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I shall declare that our very own visitor could be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, speak.

Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And is odd becoming the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, it really is.

Riese:

I had to not state anything. I did not even get it done. I did state situations. I got to sit down right here quietly.

Christina:

Therefore had been truly courageous. As well as your confronts happened to be valued.

Riese:

Thanks a great deal.

Christina:

Though that is clearly an audio method, I want all of our listeners to find out that Riese had been making some great impulse confronts during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

There’s many ways to be heard. You know what I mean? That’s what i usually state. Im the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m additionally on an undefeated kickball group. And that is me personally. I’ve your pet dog named Carol. And that I have actually outdated folks.

Christina:

Congrats on the kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I’ve been associated with individuals.

Christina:

Great. Adoring that. That is fantastic to create for this, this here matchmaking podcast. That’s great.

Riese:

Yeah. In my opinion that… will there be whatever else?

Drew:

No, i do believe which is great, Riese.

Christina:

What you may need discuss.

Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.

Christina:

Compared to…

Riese:

You Understand when someone goes like…

Drew:

Its like whenever you strike. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are disgusting, and so I simply just exhausted all of them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, we right away thought of you because of this subject.

Christina:

That is correct.

Drew:

Because to start with, demonstrably, queer ladies and non-binary folks in lesbian neighborhood currently like, I don’t know, sex with individuals whom their friends have acquired intercourse with since well before

The L Keyword

had been ever a string. But I do feel

The L Term

solidified a certain cultural concept of the information with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like might have some understanding of this topic.

Riese:

It’s true. A couple of article authors, I would like to say, of

The L Keyword

had this genuine chart of those as well as their friends these were attracting from the wall structure or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i do believe, had been one. She spoke to all of us about it, they had developed this. Because certainly, everyone in that publisher’s room had banged other individuals during the copywriter — you understand, and also the lengthy web of these generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also watched that and they certainly were like, “Let’s place it into the program.” Plus some of them are on the information. Like, some people just who … like, real individuals are regarding the chart as bull crap.

Christina:

Which is amazing. Which is the method that you learn you’ve made it.

Riese:

Isn’t really that lovely?

Christina:

That could be thrilling for me personally.

Riese:

And thus when you haven’t observed

The L Term,

first and foremost, congrats. Second, it becomes the centerpiece of a single of our lead personality, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has almost everything over the woman wall. Looked after may be the title of an internet site that they began labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the concept … and it is within the pilot, i do believe. During the very first occurrence, Alice begins making reference to how everybody’s linked, because everyone’s connected with this specific person. And I also can link you, as you’re probably no more than two levels from myself. And therefore ended up being real. Like, despite Dana, who had very limited experience because she was actually a closeted tennis player, they however had the ability to connect their. That is certainly real life since it is correct.

Christina:

That’s tradition. Yeah. That is what culture looks like.

Riese:

That’s tradition. That is queer tradition right there. Nowadays everyone helps make their particular charts.

Christina:

Yeah. In order that was going to end up being my personal then question, ended up being have either of you made a chart? Because I do not believe We have, I am also types of now thinking like, that was this a year ago sitting within my residence for if I didn’t create a chart? Like, the thing that was the purpose of that, really?

Riese:

I think i have done it within my diary, in the same way like … Because I like, I am not sure, planning info, i assume, as a thought physical exercise.

Christina:

Yeah, i believe which is additionally precisely why i will be amazed that You will findn’t completed it. I love the thought of categorizing things.

Riese:

Right. Yeah. Since it is fascinating. I am not sure precisely why it is very interesting, however it is. It’s interesting become like, wow, all these people, they truly are linked. It is crazy.

Drew:

Regarding the tv show, once ourchart.com is actually invented, they have a real data that individuals can truly add stuff. And I feel just like something you joked in regards to on

To L and Right Back,

and from now on individuals state on a regular basis is much like, when this existed in an actual means, no body would place their unique brands on it, no one would feel safe putting their unique labels onto it.

Riese:

You might.

Drew:

I’d. I’d be really great with it current. I would never add another person without their unique authorization. Nevertheless concept of want, whenever some one ended up being like, “Confirm that you might be connected to me personally,” I would resemble, “Yeah, oahu is the existence i have resided. I don’t care about.” Usually weird? Would be that difficulty?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, I would feel poor not-being … I would personally resemble, “hold off, I’m not onto it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?” No, that could actually send me personally into lighting ethical stress about just who i’m as one, everything I’m performing. Are I interesting? Carry out individuals {like
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